Diabetes...

Oh wow! The last couple of weeks have been a roller coaster ride
for me. I was told 2 weeks ago last Friday that I have diabetes
"untechnically"(I don't even think this is a word). What in the world
does that mean? It means that I am so close to the borderline of being
diabetic that I can be classified as that, where as on the other hand I
am not quite over that line to officially be classified as such.
Does that make sense? So the doctor told me he wants me to lose 10-15
pounds (I chose 13 since that is my favorite number) in the next month.
Any one that knows me knows that it is almost impossible for me to lose
weight. I have tried and tried hard, and did not lose one single pound in a
1 year time. I can not tell you how maddening and frustrating that is!! So
what I have to do is cut out most of my carbs (not all of them, but just
about everything I love to eat and just about live off of!), and stay under
2,000 calories. I just cried for the first 3 days and did not eat anything
cause it seemed that everything was off limits. After receiving a
priesthood blessing I was able to start thinking more clearly and able to
figure things out. So I am doing this and getting up at 5 am to do 40-45
minutes of exercising. The first week I did lose 4 pounds and was so totally
excited. As I started the second week with gusto and enthusiasm I worked
hard but gained those four pounds back. Frustrated, I wanted to just throw
the towel in and quit. I guess my body is just not made to be thin. But I did
get up this morning to do my exercises. If anything, I know I should still be
exercising. It is just good for you overall! Counting calories is good overall too.
I am amazed at how much crap I do eat and all the carbs!! Maybe over time
something will happen but I wont hold my breathe.